Let's be Frank

Last Tuesday evening was scary! It was billed as a men’s evening when, over a meal together, we would dare to be very frank about things that men only usually think about. Around 100 guys came along, maybe because we had made it clear that we would be frank about .. you guessed, sex. And us church leaders were going to lead the way, with the lead guy going first – yup, that’s me! Now you know why it was scary! You see, us men just aren’t used to talking about the private world of our feelings, fantasies & failings. We’d rather go fix something practical like a burst tyre before trying to fix some of those private things inside. We’re hunters, fighters, sorters – we’d rather do things than talk about them!

A couple of evenings later we had a ‘Grill the Elders’ evening when once again, us leaders would be put on the spot and asked questions – a piece of cake after Tuesday evening! Anyway, one of the questions I got was: ‘How come there’s so few men in the church?’ Well I kind of answered it, but it’s been on my mind ever since.
I have a book in front of me that has the title: ‘Why Men Hate Going to Church’, by David Murrow, and he makes some interesting points, mainly along the line of how men & women are different, and how a lot of the things we do in the church setting are, how can I put this.., easier for women to connect with. For instance, us men might not mind singing along with a few thousand others at a football match, but in someone’s front room at Home Group???? Ouch! That may be OK for Ned Flanders but not for a lot of men. Lee Strobel admits having had this fear: ‘I’d think to myself, “Boy, I never want to end up like that.” In other words, If Christianity requires a person to become a social misfit who has no social life, count me out. I saw Christians as being boring, out of touch and living a plain vanilla lifestyle that’s devoid of excitement, challenge, or fun.’

So what about the heroes of faith in the Bible – David, Sampson, Joshua, Daniel, the disciples, Paul etc? You can’t say they were wimps; they were warriors, men of courage & daring, endured beatings & prison and often laid down their lives.
So a belated answer to the question at ‘Grill the Elders’ as to why there are so few men in the church, is probably that churches have all too often lost sight of the compelling mission that arrested and energised Christ followers in the New Testament. Or if they haven’t totally lost that vision, they have just spiritualised it into words and pictures instead of doing the stuff and getting practical, applying this Gospel calling into every-day-living.

Toward the end of the week I attended a meeting with a number of Newfrontier’s leaders from across the UK at which Dave Stroud spoke on the subject ‘Changing Society’. He reminded us of men like William Wilberforce, William Booth, John Cadbury – Christian men whose devotion to Christ and His Cause was very practical and showed itself in actions that changed society.
I am challenged to make sure that I put before the men (and the women!) at Kings, a vision of Christ and His Cause that will grab their attention, and energise their abilities & giftings, making sure that there is every opportunity to be practical and take action & responsibility to make a manly difference!

Goff